There is Always a Bigger Shark

We sat down with Maddie Brockwell to find out more about her and how she spends her time away from her desk. 

Synchro: Good Morning Maddie, thanks for joining me.

Maddie: No worries and thank you.

Synchro: What is Maddie short for?

Maddie: I’m officially Madeleine, spelt with a cheeky extra e, because technically the French way, although the crazy thing is I didn’t find out about the extra e until I was like 9, I’d always written Maddie so I didn’t even realise there was an extra e in my name.

Synchro: That’s a big thing to find out.

Maddie: I remember it very clearly and being like really? While staring out of a window in deep thought. I’d like to save face and say I was younger than 9 but I really don’t think I was.

Synchro: I of all people understand official names being different than day to day names. I thought we could do this chat a little differently and I’d see if there was anything that you’d like to talk about?

Maddie: So you want me to do your job for you?

Synchro: Essentially yes.

Maddie: I haven’t really got any ideas, I sort of assumed you would have prepared some questions and we would see where the conversation takes us.

Synchro: Well we can do that if you’d rather.

Maddie: Go on then.

Synchro: What is your favourite animal?

Maddie: Oh, an Orangutan.

Synchro: Any particular reason?

Maddie: Their name translates to something like “Old Man of the Jungle” which I just think is cool and really fitting.

Synchro: that’s quite deep for this time in the morning.

Maddie: It is early but I’m a zoologist, what did you expect from an animal related question?

Synchro: I hate to be the one to break it to you but you’re a recruiter Maddie.

Maddie: This is true, but I have levels, I have lived many lives, maybe I used to be a zoologist but its still in me, I still get angry when I hear people talk about how much they love pandas.

Synchro: Is that what makes you a zoologist, hatred of pandas?

Maddie: Well technically not no, they are just generally rubbish.

Synchro: So is that your least favourite animal?

Maddie: I wouldn’t say least favourite, that feels harsh, you can’t really hate on them, which is really why I do hate them, they are just so innocent. I think my least favourite animal would be a wasp they are a pretty useless animal but at least they don’t cost us millions in conservation money.

Synchro: So are you saying insects are animals?

Maddie: We have definitely been through this before, what would you call it if its not an animal then?

Synchro: An insect… What’s your favourite bug then?

Maddie: Is this just going to be me listing my favourite and least favourite types of animal?

Synchro: Hopefully not.

Maddie: That is a good question though, there is as an insect called a velvet worm, I think it’s called a velvet worm, it shoots a sticky glue out of itself to trap its prey, but it hasn’t evolved in any way in millions and millions of years it just hasn’t felt the need to improve itself in anyway evolution smashed it first time.

Synchro: If you could go and watch any band or artist play any location at anytime who would you watch and where?

Maddie: I actually have an answer to this locked and loaded, I’d go back to watch Queen’s Live Aid performance, I’m a big fan of those biopics and love the queen one, that gig would have been amazing to be at.

Synchro: Talking films have you seen anything good at the cinema recently?

Maddie: I saw Barbie last week, but I have to admit I am going to the cinema tonight to watch something else that I could not be more excited about. Meg 2 is in cinemas and I cannot wait!

Synchro: That’s in the cinema, I assumed that was a straight to insert streaming service name here job

Maddie: No its actually in the cinema, its got a 0% score on rotten tomatoes and there are barely any showings but I am going tonight.

Synchro: To be fair, I completely get it, the terrible shark film genre is an iconic genre of film.

Maddie: Definitely, me and my friend Daisy have put some serious time into watching the worst shark films.

Synchro: We talking ghost shark, two headed shark attack, the Sharknado franchise?

Maddie: Yeah, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Sand Shark, MegaShark vs Giant Octopus, all of the above, if it’s got sharks and a low budget I have seen it.

Synchro: That’s impressive.

Maddie: I think my favourite has got to be a film called Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre

Synchro:  I am glad I asked. Is it just shark films you’re watching or are we talking any low budget film about a random animal fused with a random horror phenomenon?

Maddie: Oh any.

Synchro: Have you ever seen Zombeavers?

Maddie: I have not, but I immediately want to. Its just an incredible genre id love to be in some of the ideas rooms, its just people sitting around saying things like “what if there is a bigger shark?” and everyone else saying “bang, get Jason Statham on the phone”. They have definitely hit on a gold mine.

Synchro: There is always a bigger shark. If you were casting a bad shark film, who would you cast.

Maddie: Oh, the star would have to be Jennifer Coolidge right off the bat, she is incredible, then you would have to have Jason Statham in it as it’s a shark film but id switch it up and have him as the damsel in distress that Jen Coolidge has to save. We would then need someone really famous to be the first person to die to throw the audience off, maybe someone like Jack Black. I’d cast Taylor Swift as the shark and end the film with the shark surviving to perform a medley of Taylor Swift’s greatest hits.

Synchro: I would 100% watch this film. Would you rather vomit on your hero, or be vomited on by your hero?

Maddie: Oh that’s easy, I’d be thrown up on, I don’t want my heroes lasting impression of me that I threw up on them and its definitely a better story if they threw up on me.

Synchro: Fair enough, that makes sense so who would be throwing up on you?

Maddie: I don’t really know, I could say Taylor Swift but I wouldn’t necessarily call her my hero, that would be iconic though if she threw up on me.

Synchro: You’d have a pretty good story and you could always sell the shirt.

Maddie: I would 100% be keeping the shirt.

Synchro: But you said she wasn’t really your hero, who would you say is?

Maddie: I don’t really know who my hero is, I’m not sure I have one, oh god is that a bit bleak? I guess I would say my mum.

Synchro: That’s nice. Reckon she will like this post?

Maddie: Oh yeah, she’ll love it.

Synchro: That’s all I strive for. Although at some point in your life you probably have vomited on your mum so the original question is now probably rather moot.

Maddie: Very true although she almost vomited on me when she walked 25 miles on just coffee and a pair of sketchers. So I think we can call it even. Shout out to my mum.

Synchro: So staying in the realms of heroes what super power would you want to have?

Maddie: I’m not really bothered about like super strength or anything like that, id like to be able to like do all the flips and stuff that Spiderman does.

Synchro: So essentially you would want to be really good at gymnastics.

Maddie: I guess so yeah.

Synchro: Well, we will leave it there I reckon. Thanks for your time have a great rest of your day.

Maddie: Cheers Ron.